Seize the Dei

There.

2009-03-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

That's better. The long post was beginning to vex me, all sitting there and un-replied to.

There's something about Mary

2009-02-23T15:20:00.000-08:00

Over at Church of the Masses, a brouhaha flamed up over the question of whether the Blessed Mother experienced the "normal" pangs accompanying the birth of Jesus. If you're not Catholic, you automatically do not care much about something that seems like one more Catholic distraction from Christ. Even if you're Catholic, the discussion may seem arcane and impractical. For some reason, if the com box comments are any indication, the topic has aroused a strange mix of anger and indignation.

I truly don't understand why. We can't just disagree amicably? It seems to me that the discussion at Church of the Masses quickly veered from the question of Jesus' birth to the question of how the Catholic Church teaches anything at all.

My original point, imperfectly as it may have been expressed, is this:

Major premise: Catholics are required to accept all the teachings of the Church, whether dogmatically defined or taught as part of ordinary magisterial teaching.

Minor premise: The belief that Mary gave birth to Jesus miraculously -- and without the birth pangs of all other women -- is part of ordinary magisterial teaching.

Conclusion: Catholics are required to believe that Mary gave birth to Jesus without the pangs of labor.

Obviously, the rub here is the minor premise. The claim has been made that the "panglessness" of Mary at the birth of Jesus Christ is merely a pious opinion, that smart people have disagreed, and that no one should elevate a speculative viewpoint above and beyond its proper place. I did not say that the issue has been formally addressed and taught ex cathedra with the same force or gravity as, say, the Immaculate Conception or the bodily Assumption. It has not.

On the other hand, it is solidly and consistently embedded in the tradition of the Church with respect to the role of Mary in God's plan of salvation, and so present in the teaching of the Fathers. It was taught by St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas and by many other saints and orthodox scholars. These reliable sources provide important planks on which the teaching of the Church is built. I agree that "what some saints and scholars think" is not to be mistaken for official magisterial teaching. Many saints got some of their theological positions wrong. I said "important planks" on purpose. They are not the only ones. Much more vital are these two:

1) The Catechism of the Council of Trent, promulgated by Pope Pius V in 1566. Trent is the most dogmatic of all Ecumenical Councils. I think it's a misstep to try and parse out each document to get to a "really dogmatic statement." The whole Council is dogmatic in nature and purpose. The Catechism that resulted from its teachings was normative for the whole Church by order of Pius V and served as the primary teahcing resource for Catholicism for over 500 years.

Even the more recent (1993) Catechism of the Catholic Church does not repudiate one line of its Tridentine predecessor, which put it this way: “To Eve it was said, ‘In pain you shall bring forth children’ (Gen. 3:16). Mary was exempt from this law, for preserving her virginal integrity inviolate, she brought forth Jesus the Son of God, without experiencing, as we have already said, any sense of pain.” (The Catechism of the Council of Trent, from English translation in Robert I. Bradley, S.J. and Eugene Kevane (eds.), The Roman Catechism, pp. 49-50)

Note that the Council fathers tell us that they have already taught this about Mary giving birth painlessly. These are not a bunch of old church ladies tossing sentimental flowers at Our Lady. The lines faithfully reflect the mind of the Roman Catholic Church -- her bishops in union with the Pope -- at the most momentous and doctrinally important Council in Church history.

One of the key biblical anchors for the issue at hand is the literal sense of Isaiah 66:7: “As the Son has been given to us without a father, so the Child has been born without a birth."

Let's say you believe that Mary cried like a mental patient as she gave birth to Jesus after the manner of all human mothers per the curse pronounced in Gen 3, how do you interpret Isaiah here? This is one of the most explicit messianic prophecies. To what is he referring?

Here is St. Gregory of Nyssa's answer: "Just as she who introduced death into nature by her sin was condemned to bear children in suffering and travail, it was necessary that the Mother of life, after having conceived in joy, should give birth in joy as well. No wonder that the angel said to her, ‘Rejoice, O full of grace!’ (Lk 1:28). With these words he took from her the burden of that sorrow which, from the beginning of creation, has been imposed on birth because of sin.” (St. Gregory of Nyssa, On the Song of Songs 13; PG 44, as quoted in Luigi Gambero, Mary and the Fathers of the Church, p. 158, before 397 AD) Back to Augustine: “In conceiving you were all pure, in giving birth you were without pain.” (St. Augustine, Sermone de Nativitate)

The lack of pain is directly related to Mary’s virginity during the birth of Christ. Here is the Universal Doctor, Thomas Aquinas: “Whether Christ was born without His Mother suffering? I answer that, the pains of childbirth are caused by the infant opening the passage from the womb. Now it has been said above that Christ came forth from the closed womb of His Mother, and, consequently, without opening the passage. Consequently there was no pain in that birth, as neither was there any corruption; on the contrary, there was much joy therein for that God-Man ‘was born into the world,’ according to Is. 35:1,2: ‘Like the lily, it shall bud forth and blossom, and shall rejoice with joy and praise.’” (Summa Theologica, part III, q 35, art 6) 2 III.

2) There is an old Catholic principle: lex orandi, lex credendi, or the law of prayer is the law of belief. The Catholic Church includes the following prayer in one of the Prefaces for the Mass of the Blessed Virgin Mary:

"In your divine wisdom you planned the redemption of the human race and decreed that the new Eve should stand by the cross of the new Adam: as she became his mother by the power of the Holy Spirit, so, by a new gift of your love, she was to be a partner in his passion, and she who had given him birth without the pains of childbirth was to endure the greatest of pains in bringing forth to new life the family of your Church."

There it is in black and white. Think about this. What does it say about the doctrinal reliability of this teaching? Is it imaginable that the Church would require her children to PRAY these words if they're just nice thoughts that may not be true and binding on Catholics? I have no idea how you can conclude other than that this small t tradition more than merely "worthy of belief" if you're into that sort of thing. Some teachings bind Catholics to internal assent of mind and will -- such as the constant teaching against all forms of contraception -- even if not defined dogmatically.

Pope Pius XII didn't wake up on November 1, 1950 and say, "Hey, today, I think I'll define that Mary was assumed bodily into heaven!" On the contrary, this belief has been part of small t tradition of Catholic teaching about Mary since apostolic times. Pius XII defined as a dogma a doctrine Catholics have accepted from apostolic times.

Dogma is the crystalization of -- the careful polishing of -- doctrines already taught. The yet-to-be-defined dogma of Mary Co-Redemptrix and Mediatrix of all graces is an example. It is part of the ordinary magisterium while not yet being fomrall dogmatically defined. (Read Bishop Sheen's The World's First Love for a beautiful explication of it.)

Now, I am not equating the birth pangs issue with these more weighty teachings. Hardly. I'm bringing them up to show that we not not have to have a dogmatic note attached to a given teaching for Catholics to accept it as true.

Accepting only dogmatic definitions before one will believe something is the same game played by dissenters who accept contraception. Right?

To me, the whole birth-of-Jesus-painlessly debate is settled with the wording of the liturgical prayer. Vatican II (Lumen Gentium 25) teaches that Catholics must give religious assent of the will to all aspects of Catholic teaching, not just from the extraordinary exercise of infallible dogma.

One last observation: I doubt that Mary was sitting around Bethlehem reading a magazine when all of a sudden she looked down and there was the baby Jesus. Obviously, giving birth at nine months gestation involves human effort and some discomfort. But the curse given to the man in Gen 3 that he would have to undergo LABOR ("the sweat of your brow") and not merely WORK to provide for himself, so, too, the woman was told that childbirth would involve PAIN as a punishment for disobedience. Mary was sinless, and her virginity was perpetual, including during the event of our Lord Jesus Christ's birth.

In light of the above, if you still wish to say that Mary underwent the everyday experience of childbirth, then all I can say is (no, not anathema sit!).....okidoki, then!

Erratum

2009-02-13T16:40:00.000-08:00

Folks:

Turns out my first day is indeed Feb 16 (Monday) but my first day on the air will be Monday March 1. Talk atcha then!

It's a go

2009-02-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

TN visa interview went exceedingly well, and quick. Start date is February 16, 3PM-5PM at www.catholic.com or on Channel 160 on Sirius Satellite.

Halleluia!

Your 'umble 'ost.

"Emma, if you can hear me, just give me a kiss."

2009-01-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

What a great story: real life Prince Charming rouses his Sleeping Beauty the old fashioned way.

May Emma make a full recovery through the prayers of St. Valentine.

They like me, they really like me

2009-01-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

Well...

Catholic Answers has hired me to replace the venerable Jerry Usher as the full-time host of Catholic Answers Live. Obviously, a great opportunity and an even greater grace in my life. My official start date is February 16 in San Diego. I first must fly to El Paso, TX, (probably on February 11) to switch TN visa categories. Always a nerve-wracking endeavor....

When I get the date of that El Paso interview, I'll post it and request your prayers.

They, like, seemed to, you know, like my, uh, communication abilities and stuff.

All me, all the time!

2009-01-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

I have been asked to guest host Catholic Answers LIVE radio show in San Diego again. Halleluuuia -- I really enjoy doing it. Seize the Dei readers can become listeners to your humble scribe by going to www.catholic.com, and clicking on Radio, then on Listen Live. The Catholic Answers site also has a listing of terrestrial radio stations in the US and Canada where the show can be enjoyed, via the EWTN global radio network.

Call in and join the cornucopia o' radio enlightenment, education and entertainment.

The value of virginity.....

2009-01-12T13:04:00.000-08:00

Who says virginity is a worthless virtue?

The first Catholic blogger dies

2009-01-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

A lion of faith and reason has gone to be with his Lord, and may the encounter be rich and fullsome.

I have been a ROFTER (reader of First Things) for over 11 years, and reading Father Neuhaus's "The Public Square" essays at the back were like devouring the funnies. Try as I might to keep from reading it right away, I always failed, and dashed to it like a hungry man to a hamburger stand.

I'll miss his wit, his incisive (and often dryly hilarious) prose and his consistent witness for Jesus Christ in His Church.

His Public Square offerings were, to my mind, the prototype of all future Catholic blog posts.

One extra second in 2008....

2008-12-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

What are you going to do with yours?

I love things like this. It makes you wonder about the mystery of time and the ever-elusive nature of the present moment. As Frank Sheed once said, when you're saying the N in now, the ow part is in the future and when you get to the ow part, the N is in the past.

Me, on the radio

2008-12-19T21:11:00.000-08:00

If you want to hear what your humble scribe sounds like, grab a wee listen here and click to either Monday or Tuesday, Dec. 15 and 16. It's the two Catholic Answers Live shows I guest-hosted for the talented Jerry Usher.

Radio is still the most intimate medium, bar none. And still mostly under-utilized in the spread of the gospel.

Host with the (koff koff) mostest

2008-12-17T10:35:00.000-08:00

Monday and yesterday I filled in for radio host Jerry Usher on Catholic Answers Live in San Diego.

Got to interview a living saint, Father Benedict Groeschel, CFR, as well as speak with ultra super duper uber apologists Patrick Madrid and Steve Ray, along with Catholic Answers staff apologist Jim Blackburn.

What a blast.

Radio hosting. Me likee.

These little quirks of mine

2008-11-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

The incomparable Justine (see my blog roll) hath memed me and I shall meme others. Here are six quirks I call my own. And no one can take them away.

1. I have what I'm pretty sure is minor OCD. It appears as a slight "hitch" motion in my shoulder as I walk, mainly the left shoulder. Since my time began on earth, I have always felt that my shirt/pajamas/suit/sweaters are not quite fitting right and I have to keep adjusting. Never gets adjusted properly, which is ...why IT'S A DISORDER.

2. Very often (to the irritation of those near me) I will notice multiple resemblances in individual people I see in the street. As in, "What is Ronald Reagan and the guy who cleans our building doing here?" Or, "I didn't know Elmer Fudd and Uncle Rick were at this movie." Sometimes I'll see a three-fer: "Who knew that my ex-girlfriend and Sarah Brightman and Marisa Tomei ate at this restaurant?"

3. I have a have habit of asking absurd What If questions. What if the lector at Mass paused far too long after introducing the Reading and actually starting it, and meanwhile did a weird face -- just for a flash of a second -- would anyone notice? Would he be reprimanded by the pastor? Or what if I shouted "ecky thump!" while standing in the bank line up? (Just once -- and then remain silent as if I'd said nothing.) Or what if I slipped an obscenity into my answers while doing a telephone survey? That sorta thing.

4. I love fixing, repairing and/or beautifying clothing items passed the point where other mortals just buy another one. On any given day I'll be polishing shoes, cleaning and shining my watch, or my daughter's boots, or even cutlery that looks drab.

5. I can't read just one book at a time. I need at least three on the go: one for the W.C.; one for lunch break at work, and one for latenight reading. Maybe it's the ADHD hyperfocus part of my soul.

6. My vexation at gross grammatical errors leads me to correct others when I should probably consider chilling out. If we're talking and you say, "irregardless," or "sangwhich," or "for all intensive purposes" or "it's ironic" when you mean "coincidental," I am happy to be of help!

From my "stuff I hope is not true" bag

2008-11-25T14:43:00.000-08:00

Please, no.

Ladies and gentlemen....Mikaeel Jackson!

2008-11-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

So Michael Jackson has become a Muslim.

I'm thinking it's probably more Nation of Islam than mainstream Sunni or Shia.

He's go the whole womens' burka thing going already, a tradition he passed onto his kids. I wonder if he'll still be able to grab his crotch and squeal "eeeh hee!"

I thought the Mass was cosmic...

2008-11-24T15:17:00.000-08:00

With a hat tip to loyal com box contributor PDP, I give you...

The Cosmic Mass, baby!

Magic Castle brushes with fame

2008-11-21T13:25:00.000-08:00

Last night my wife and I had an evening at the sumptuous Magic Castle in Hollywood, a private club for magicians. It's the last social club in LA where a strict dress code still reins. Coat and tie for men, cocktail dress or elegant attire for women. I was invited through the good graces of Irene Larson, honorary president for life of the Academy of Magical Arts. Mrs. Larson apparently didn't hate the tricks I did for her and her daughter at Musso & Frank's Restaurant last week.

In addition to meeting and talking with the legendary magicians Johnny Thompson (there would be no Criss Angel, no Lance Burton, and no Penn & Teller but for the Great Tomsini) and Eugene Burger (Chicago's top magician and nationally known teacher of magic) we sat next to spritely (fellow Canadian) actress Neve Campbell in one of the small theatres in the Castle.

The whole night was a real treat and a half.

MPASS membership grows

2008-11-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

~~Prostitute~~ ~~call girl~~ ~~hooker~~ Escort Ashley Dupre, age 22, defends her job duties, seems unsure if she should have any regrets, and accidentally reveals she didn't know her high-end customer Eliot Spitzer was also her Governor.

I can't see her voting, but I wonder whom she wanted to be president?

Sad, sad.

Terri Schiavo, but with a better ending

2008-11-20T14:50:00.000-08:00

Are you ready for a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction story ? It begins this way: beautiful girl overdoses on heroin while pregnant, stays in coma and gives birth to a healthy baby without waking up....

Lauren Richardson wept emotionally when her mother informed her of the settlement and the reconciliation of her parents.

This gave me goosebumps.

See, with balloons you get a low Mass and a high Mass

2008-11-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

Loopy liturgists here in North America will be as pleased as orthodox Catholics will be appalled by the following:

Lifeteen Mass, European style?

Unless strongly repudiated, this event will be dragged out by AmChurch as Exhibit A of Vatican acceptance of all manner of liturgical nonsense over here.

My first impulse is to defend good Cardinal Schonborn, general editor of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, holy Dominican scholar and priest (with whom I had the good fortune of spending some time when he visited Steubenville). Was he blind-sided? Is that a credible explanation? The official spokeshole for the Austrian archdiocese attacks everything and everyone except the event itself and how it was staged, suggesting full knowledge.

I don't think you need to be a foaming traditionalist to be very disturbed by this. Reactions around the blogsphere among orthodox Catholics are not good. Liturgical abuse is not really too strong a term in this case: Prayer card balloons released during the Mass (what is it the balloon fetish?); wooden ciboria; St. Louis Jesuit-style ceramic chalices; tie-die vestments; obnoxious rock guitars jangling in the background; strobe lights; rave lasers; deep dish pizza-sized eucharistic bread (Great for falling crumbles! If that recipe is kosher with the rubrics, I'm the Easter bunny.)

Maybe this brand of infantilization of the divine liturgy is what helped made an atheist out of a former Lifeteen music leader I know....(With all deference to the good that some Lifeteen Masses have done, etc., ipso facto, yadda blah, and so on.)

Memo to CNN: your guy won, m'kay?

2008-11-19T10:20:00.000-08:00

Here are some utterly objective graphologists (sic) and the always politically neutral CNN (neuuuuuuuuutral, I tell you!) demonstrating that they. Just. Can't. Leave. Sarah Palin. Alone.

"She's fantasizing about her win. It's me, check this box!"

"It looks confused and talky. Like she's talking too much."

"It looks like somebody who's in prison who would write, on like, their wall."

Did anyone notice that Palin's was more of a brainstorming sheet for her campaign for mayor? Obama's more careful drawing was signed like he wanted to sell it to The New Yorker.

Saintly priest, cowardly diocesan administrator?

2008-11-18T14:22:00.000-08:00

Father Jay Scott Newman of South Carolina sounds like a very brave and humble priest. His higher-ups in the Diocese sound like craven wussies.

But I think what Father Newman wrote was wrong. No priest has magical apparatus enabling him to tell if a parishioner voted for Obama will full knowledge of his abortion views. Mortal sin requires at least that, along with full consent of the will. As co-founder of MPASS, the Most People Are Stupid Society, I can tell you that most people, let's face it, are stupid.

Is that uncharitable? Well, for a Catholic to vote for Barack Obama with knowledge of his extreme stance on abortion is either evil or stupid. Charity bids me say he is stupid.

For proof, go here.

Thumbs up for the humility and graciousness (and guts) of this man, Father Newman. Thumbs down for the obligatory wrist slap by this administrator for "dragging the Church into partisan politics" blah yadda.

Oh, dear.

The O-Team

2008-11-14T11:59:00.000-08:00

Comedy gold, gilded with platinum conservativism.

This man needs his own TV show

2008-11-14T11:09:00.000-08:00

Remember the name Alfonzo Rachel. I predict you'll be hearing a lot more about him in the future.

I am so down with the message. Rush Limbaugh, Larry Elder, watch yo backs!

Sean Penn: Best Actor Oscar, 2009

2008-11-13T12:45:00.000-08:00

No. Doubt. About. It.

Just give it to him now before the film opens, already.

Gentle gays quietly explain their position

2008-11-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

I don't know why they give themselves an icky name like Bash Back.

Jeesh; all they did was STORM INTO A CHURCH SERVICE AND START CHANTING SLOGANS AND THROWING AROUND FLYERS.

And Christians are the haters, eh?

Ever wonder why they don't do this inside Roman Catholic churches?

Can you imagine the media reaction if Christians pulled a stunt like this during, oh, I don't know, say a meeting of homosexual activists?

Why don't more gays protest ugly incivilities like this? To that degree, they're like Muslims who are mute in the face of their co-religionists' terrorists attacks.

Annoying phrases redux

2008-11-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

The brainiacs at Oxford have given us a list of Most Annoying Phrases of 2008. (It appears in a new book Damp Squid: The English Language Laid Bare by Jeremy Butterfield.)

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

A lot of these are repeats. Here is my partial list. Gimme yours.

* Using impact as a verb. "How will this impact the group?"
* When you say, thank you" to a store clerk or waiter, and he or she grunts, "uh huh," instead of "you're welcome.
* My bad.
* No worries.
* No biggie.
* Don't go there (that's sooo 1997).
* Just sayin.'
* "In the tank for," as in, "the media is in the tank for Obama." (This one cropped up during the election marathon, as "gravitas" did in 2000 to describe what Dick Cheney brought to the Bush ticket.)
* Yadda yadda yadda. (Hasn't Seinfeld been off the air for a decade?)
* Saying "waiting on" when you mean, "waiting for."
* Literally when you mean figuratively. (This one has really got to go!)
* That said....
* At the end of the day...
* "Can't cut the mustard." (It's "can't pass muster," a military term about drill inspections.
* "Graduated high school," instead of graduated from high school.
* Out of pocket, meaning "not available."
* It's like/you know...
* You go, girl.
* You da man.
* Whassup?
* Dude as the first word in any sentence.
* Press one for English.

I have to stop there; getting a headache.

Evil woman justly silenced by peaceful, tolerant gay protesters

2008-11-11T09:59:00.001-08:00

Watch as a dangerous agent of domination and brutality is gently shown the error of her ways.

My favorite part of this clip is at the end, with the anchorman's pathetic sign-off, "Quite honestly, there is anger on both sides."

Anger on both sides?

God in heaven.

Liberal bishop dislikes English words

2008-11-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

Finally, the English-speaking Catholic world is getting a better liturgical translation. The usual suspect, the leader of the cult of so-called inclusive language is "staunchly opposed."

Hey, how are ordinary people supposed to know what staunchly means?

A thousandth of a picture is worth a word

2008-11-10T11:23:00.000-08:00

President Careless Elect

2008-11-07T16:38:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama is already exemplifying the maxim "a closed mouth gathers no feet" while signalling to his handlers his dire need to be reading from a TelepromTer at all times. All. Times.

This lightweight is supposed to be The One?

Nice of him to make Joe Biden fit in better. I wonder how he'll do in front of Iran's Mahmoud IWannaDinnerJacket.

God have mercy on this great country.

And what's with the oversized "Office of the President Elect" logo on the podium? Is it just me or is this whole appearance of already being the guy in charge a first in American politics?

Hitler youth rehearsal or McDonalds ad?

2008-10-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

Who on earth drilled the Democrat talking points into the soft pliable heads of these exploited pawns?

Were they "inspired" to do nothing in particular before the coming of The One?

Is there a word for creepy in ebonics?

And will that "yes we can" arm movement catch on?

Naomi Rose Coffin: two years today

2008-09-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

Today is the second anniversary of Naomi's birth into eternal life. She joined us on the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross, September 14, 2006, and left us on September 29, 2006, the Feast of the Archangels.

This morning, after dropping Mariclare off at her new school, St. Monica Academy in Pasadena, I stopped off at the San Fernando Mission Cemetery and paid a visit to Naomi's grave. I said a few prayers, sang a couple of songs to her, and sat down on the dew-kissed grass.

Then I had a very good cry. Some cries don't quite get off the ground, you know what I mean? You end up with a half-satisfied spirit and some mucus issues. Others are full bore releases, and you can literally feel your heart aching, stinging, pining. And the tears and sobs are wrenched from you. That was me today. Another layer of the grief onion peeling away. The thing is, I don't mind the grief. In a strange way, the grief feelings keep me connected with her. Part of me wants them to remain fresh, although it's painful, because the sorrow is shot through with joy.

There's gotta be a country song about this emotional state.

I know she's with the Lord, I do have immense peace about how exquisitely prepared she was to meet her Bridgegroom, and I rely on her prayers most every day. But I still miss her badly.

St. Naomi, ora pro nobis.

Hillary the courageous

2008-09-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Clinton backed out of a public event called Stop Iran Now once she found out that Sarah Barracuda was going to be attending. The guts! The leadership!

But wait.

Clinton's spokeshole claimed that Her Courageousness was declining to come because the event was "partisan." If it was partisan, why was Senator Clinton invited at all? And does anyone think Elie Weisel is a card-carrying GOP member? Even if it was a Democrat sponsored event, would she stay away to avoid the appearance of partisanship?

Hire Patrick Coffin

2008-09-16T17:10:00.001-07:00

I want a new job. I hate recruiting, not just because of its many inherent torture factors, but mainly because it will never result in a green card.

It's the green card that I want. My TN visa is long past its original usefulness.

Which means, I must get a job that bears a substantial relationship to my education. Which means a job in the area of education or writing. Or thereabouts. Ideally, I'd like it to be in the entertainment industry that has some openness to a Christian worldview. Like, creative development. I can also host a radio show.

A green card will also enable my talented wife to launch her handmade fine jewelry importing business and make the Coffin family a handsome pile of dough.

And so, my three loyal Seize the Dei readers, I call upon thee and thine for a NEW JOB. or at least prayers for same.

Amen.

A star is born

2008-09-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin gave the moribund MSM a jolt of terrifying electricity last night, eh. I personally loved the delicious hint of a snarl that lay at the edge of her smile, which seemed to appear whenever she was ginning up to respond to the outlandish attacks on her and her family in the last week -- as if to say, "You guys really wanna pick on the young daughter of this mama bear?"

She tore the mask off, among other things, the difference between her ticket and Obama-Biden. She named names and shouted things from the rooftop that many Republicans secretly think but are too chicken to whisper; and she drove a maternal knife into the heart of the Democratic/liberal media dragon.

Where to start?

The very sight of her husband and children on stage, affectionately framing the presence of button-cute baby Trig -- you can't buy that kind of marketing. In her speech she came across as assertive, confident and fearless, announcing that the gloves are officially off and that much more is at stake for America than the tiny victory of any one Party. Very impressive considering seven days ago she went to bed thinking she'd be Governor of Alaska for the indefinite future and woke up in the sharp glare of the world's news media.

No zangy orange pantsuits, no Greek columns, no rock concert aspirations, no uber-poetical turns of phrase.

Just a solid woman with something to say.

Raquel Welch meets a schoolmarm meets a pit bull with lipstick.

Man beheads sleeping man; media also asleep

2008-07-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

Let's see here...we have a large knife, blood-curdling screams, the decapitation of an innocent person, and an MSM that's mum on details.

This is just me, but I have a hunch the assailant is not a Christian, nor a Buddhist, nor a Jew, nor a Zoroastrian, nor a Hindu, nor a Shinto animist, nor an agnostic, nor a Sikh, nor a Bahai, nor a Wiccan, nor a Mormon.

Then again, even if we learn that the murderer shouted "Allahu Akhbar!" beforehand, the MSM will decline to call it a terrorist act.

"And he didn't even sweat! What a man!"

2008-07-25T11:26:00.001-07:00

What a workout. What a messiah. What a crock.

Another euroreporter's heart skips a beat.

Heavy Metal monk

2008-07-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

Some people will object to what this monk is doing, and to the distance he puts between his stage act and overt evangelization.

To me, it's not much different in nature (although the externals are wildly different) from selling jams and bad art.

When asked, he strongly affirms his faith and the zeal he has for his priesthood. How many parish priests will ever come across the typical audience member of a heavy metal concert?

Heavy metal isn't my cuppa, but neither is rap, the musical performance genre of choice for Father Stan Fortuna.

Something about being all things to all men. And all gangstas. And all Led Zep fans.

Canadians: Wannabe Democrats

2008-06-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

All I can do is sigh heavily.

Celeb divorce watch

2008-06-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

What? Madonna meeting with Sir Paul's divorce lawyer?

Utterly impossible. Totally. I heard she was Catholic.

Warming up in the bullpen of total impossibility: Brangelina; Sandra and her mechanic fella; Harrison and Calista; Demi and Ashton; Michael and Catherine Z-J; Tom and Posh, er, I mean Katie; Jennifer and Marc; etc.

Predictableness

2008-06-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

Step One: Fiery Father Pfleger goes over the top, doing his Pastor Rob Parsley Meets Jeremiah Wright schtick one too many times.

Step Two: Father gets removed by Cardinal.

Step Two: Parishioners give Pfleger their praise and adoration, plus a dollop of anger at said Cardinal, plus indignant demands that the pastor be reinstated immediately. Youth ministry leadership vows to pray and fast and "sit in."

Loopy, political sermons like this have what to do with the gospel, exactly?

And I thought liberals had a monopoly on Being Nice[TM].

Pray for Cardinal George. Show of hands -- who'd want to be a bishop these days?

Ding, dong, the book is done

2008-06-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Emmaus Road Publishing now has in their possession the manuscript of Sex au Naturel: How to Understand and Explain Catholic Teaching On Birth Control, by your 'umble narrator.

I know that many of my loyal readers have been damaged emotionally for not having regular Seize the Dei posts. But fear not. Captain Pat is now back in the leather swivel chair perched behind the shp's steering wheel, plying the waves, getting you where you need to go. Or some other metaphor.

So put those pills away and stop by the com box.

'm'kay?

Why men don't write advice columns

2008-03-18T15:52:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me this....

Dear James:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her.

I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years. I told him to end the relationship or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Heartbroken
====================

Dear Heartbroken:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solve the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
James

Heath Ledger had it all....right?

2008-01-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

What the world trumpets as sufficient for happiness, actor Heath Ledger had in superabundance: People Magazine's Top 100 Beautiful People, critical accolades, box office success, role offers, a string of gorgeous women, and, most poignant of all, a beautiful young daughter.

But he killed himself. And let's assume in charity that he was suffering from depression or drug addiction.

But dammit, couldn't he have hung on for that precious little girl's sake? People in far worse shape manage to crawl into rehab...

May the Lord Jesus Christ come to meet him and be merciful to him, and to all those who throw away God's greatest gift.

How Canadians differ from Americans, No. 9,298,769

2008-01-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm back from our Nova Scotia Christmas vacation, I can say I noticed another difference between Canucks and Yanks: Only 50% of Yanks hate President Bush's guts.

Clarification on Mormonism

2008-01-14T10:20:00.001-08:00

A com box contributor formerly named Anonymous, now known as truthisgood, thinks I am guilty of spreading lies and bearing false witness, in reference to publishing Brigham Young's (alleged?) statement about making the American people swallow Mormonism. This quote is mentioned in at least two other sources, E.A. Folk's The Story of Mormonism, and One Nation Under Gods by Abanes.

Truthisgood's proof of my false-witness-bearing is a line from a 1911 New York Times edition claming he may not have said it.

Okay. I hereby concur that he may not have said it. Which to my mind is the same as granting that may have said it. (But, again, he may not have.)

Still, despite how nice the majority of Mormons are, I think Mormonism is a false religion, and now await the charge of hatred and bigotry.

"Make them swallow Mormonism"

2007-12-18T12:25:00.000-08:00

A contributor to Politico.com known as GOPLatina relays some hard truths about Mormonism you've never heard before. Scroll down a bit.

A small sample:

"pull the wool over the eyes of the American people and make them swallow Mormonism" - Mormon Prophet, Brigham Young, 1875. D.C. printing office 1904, Vol I, 15.

Told you so.

Similarities between Islam and Mormonism

2007-12-18T12:23:00.000-08:00

Interesting. I never noticed these parallels before.

Mormonism is weird

2007-12-18T12:04:00.001-08:00

Okay, fine, let's agree not to call it a cult. But The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) sure is a bizarre melange of beliefs. FOX News recently gave them a chance to 'splain some things.

Here is their weird set of replies that were supposed to clear things up.

Very Stepford Wives.

Queer eye for the straight pope

2007-12-15T22:57:00.000-08:00

In a unique twist, Pope Benedict XVI vows to give absolution to aging effeminate director.

Posting less: book in the works

2007-12-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

I may be mixing you up with people who care, but I'll be posting even less in the next two months so I can finish the book I've been working on for far too long.

Tentatively titled, Sex au Naturel: A Guide to Understanding and Explaining Catholic Teaching On Birth Control (Emmaus Road Press 2008.)

Please say a prayer for me.

What if pro-lifers tried this?

2007-12-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

Makes you mad just watching these demons. I get why they didn't fight back, but couldn't the camera man call the cops?

Finally, a warm Christmas story

2007-12-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

Now here is a news item that warms the cockle of the heart in this season of giving. Brings a tear to the eye.

Beautiful.

Media on the pope: old dog, new tricks, no can do.

2007-11-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

Let's call this Exhibit A of the sad, sad media's inability to complete a paragraph on the pope without using the cliche scare terms "purge," "crackdown." And who can forget "watchdog"?

Even in an item about music.

I'm sure there will be protests from some Vaticanistas to the reintroduction of beautiful music to St. Peter's Church. In reference to his Liza Minelli CD collection, one Marty Haugen-loving cleric was heard to exclaim, "You'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands."

This is why Benedict XVI is right.

Lest we forget

2007-11-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

I still remember In Flanders' Fields being recited in school to commemorate Remembrance Day, as we call it in Canada.

With a hat tip to Kathy Shaidle, here is a short catalogue of Canadian wartime bravery.

Please, God, not another one

2007-11-08T16:13:00.001-08:00

I could be wrong, and I know these are sensitive and personal matters, and I know God works in mysterious ways, and I know people can change, and I know the Red Sox did in fact win two World Series', and I've heard of video footage that shows pigs flying, but come on.

The conversion of Tony Blair to the Catholic Church is far more likely to be a cause of scandal than the wunnnderful event some want to see it as.

Show of hands: who thinks Mr. Blair's pro-abortion, pro-gay adoption/"gay marriage" stands magically vanished since he recently left office?

If they haven't, he's not ready for full communion. We have enough Kerry/Cuomo/Kennedy/Durbin/Harkin/Pelosi/Schwarzenegger/O'Reilly/Giuliani-style Catholics already, thanks, and quite enough bishops willing to turn the other way.

Global warming: gold medalist in the Scam Olympics

2007-11-08T11:55:00.000-08:00

The Weather Channel founder says global warming is a big fat hoax.

Ah, I love the smell of nay say in the morning.

When crazy priests stalk celebrities

2007-11-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or should someone at the parish have spotted Father's spectacularly obvious insanity before it got this far?

I'm just asking.

Fred Thompson: "pro-life" phony

2007-11-05T14:28:00.001-08:00

Fred "charisma wattage so low you can smell it" Thompson was asked in a recent debate about some alleged legal work he did for Planned Parenthood in the early 1990s. His lame answer was basically that his firm was hired by the nation's largest abortion provider, after all, and that he only "made a few phone calls" for them.

Of course, the follow-up question was not asked: "Senator, would you have picked up the phone if your firm had hired, say, the KKK or Christians Who Love Bombing Abortion Clinics, Inc?"

Didn't think so.

Now he tips a bit more of his mitt.

At least Giuliani doesn't BS his way around his devotion to allowing pre-born babies to die violent deaths.

Pathetic FEMA strikes again

2007-10-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

While California burns to the ground, FEMA stages a phony press conference to make itself look good. In response, the White House spokeshole only uses the magic word "inappropriate" to describe such lying to the American public.

And no one will be fired. Keep moving along, folks; nothing to see here.

But will the Vatican call his bluff?

2007-10-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

Suspended priest ~~Father Larry Craig~~ Msgr. Tommaso Stenico says he'll out top officials at the Vatican.

Hmmm.

If he's really just a straight guy ~~innocently toe-tapping out morse code~~ doing Important Covert Research Into The Nefarious Doings of the Homosexual Network, such a threat is an odd reaction to getting caught.

My Daily News opponent

2007-10-22T13:35:00.000-07:00

I should have posted this below.

It's the column by Professor Jonathan Dobrer that ran next to mine in The Daily News, in which he espouses the opposite view of Ann Coulter's comment. Neither of us knew beforehand what the other wrote, of course.

Readers'll make up their own minds.

Flame evasion proceeds apace

2007-10-22T11:03:00.001-07:00

The words "involuntary evacuations have begun" bear a unique strangeness. They're not scary per se, since you could evacuate any day for any reason. But they announce a concrete danger, and force you into a mode of readiness even as you deny the urgency.

We heard those words last night as the Canyon Country fire trekked eerily down the super dry hills just to our north. The winds were, and remain, very gusty, and they carry aloft all manner of burning debris, releasing it as far as two miles away to ignite the next hot spot.

My wife and I looked at each other, realizing that we MUST start packing and be prepared to load the girls into the van for evac.

Prioritizing from among all the stuff in your house makes you see what's gold and what's glitter.

Here is why we feel surrounded by a ring of fire.

Welcome, LA Daily News readers

2007-10-20T23:34:00.000-07:00

A special hello to readers of The Los Angeles Daily News who may have read this guest op ed piece, which I wrote for today's Sunday issue.

Any time you defend an Ann Coulterism, you know the reaction will be a big fat, "Yesss!" or a bigger, fatter, "You're Hitler!"

Comment box pontiffs, pro and con, are most welcome to weigh in.

Sexual abuse of minors is caused by celibacy, I tell you!

2007-10-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

Oh, wait.

Apathy competition

2007-10-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about all the things I don't care about, things about which I burn with apathy, things that, because of non-stop media saturation, I resent even having in my head. Here's a sample:

* Any of Greta Van Susteren's tragedy TV guests: any of the cast of characters connected in any way to Anna Nicole, Larry or Howard; Natalie Holloway's mother; or and defense attorney for any celebrity.

* The entire cast, production crew, daily show topics, and the opinions of the hosts or guests of ABC's The View.

* Any and all celebrity bumps (tabloidese for visible pregnancy).

* What Geraldo Rivera thinks.

* Take a deep breath... BradAngelinaJenniferVincePamelaKidRockTommyNicoleParisTomKatieSuriBrittanyKFed, et al.

* American Idol and all its imitators.

* Survivor and all its imitators.

* Dancing With the Stars and all its future imitators.

What about you? What do you passionately care nothing about?

Jewish Power, Inc.

2007-10-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

Does it go without saying that this kind of study, if conducted by certain Gentiles, would risk being construed as anti-Semitic?

How many illegal aliens does it take to change a lightbulb?

2007-10-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

None, you racist. First, there is no light bulb problem in this country. Darkness is only darkness to Republicans and racists. Oh wait, they're the same. Second, please call them immigrants, hombre, 'cuz that's what they are.

I always had doubts about the "12 million" figure bandied about by the government.

If the illegals schemed to commit a federal crime to cross the border, lied to their employer, and lied on voter registration forms (where they tilt 99.999% Democrat), then lying to the census rep about how many hermanos y amigos live in the basement is a piece of cake.

Brave New Weird

2007-10-06T18:53:00.001-07:00

"Any baby born will be its grandfather's genetic child and a half-brother or half-sister to the man it takes to be its father."

This blending of Onion parody and reality reminds me of an interview given by the late Ruth Graham, wife of evangelist Billy. At one point she said, "If things in the world get much worse, God owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

The end is nigh

2007-10-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

This says so much about the bizarre underbelly of American pop culture, simultaneously evoking as it does laughter, pity, sadness, and shame: the exploitation by entertainment hucksters; the self-exploitation by the girl; and our willingness to laugh and clap.

If I was a midget, I honestly don't know if watching Mini-Brit would make me laugh or cry. Then again, I'd feel proud that she looked better than the real Brit at the MTV Awards.

Next up: George Clooney urges Brad Pitt to become brain surgeon.

2007-10-04T14:26:00.001-07:00

Ah, behold the fallacy of famous people thinking that their fame means their opinions are worth something.

Canada: handbag final destination uncertain, but passengers say, "It's getting kinda hot in here."

2007-10-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

This just in, piggybacking on yesterday's Canada vs Religion post.

Father Neuhaus doesn't know it, but he's like my own personal pastor. Except, you know, I don't go to him for Confession and don't put checks in his collection plate. But God bless the man.

Oh, Canada, my multitude of solitudes

2007-09-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

The national identity of the average Canadian is the awareness of not being American. My fellow Canucks tend to rail against, among other things, the whole American "melting pot" ideal. Yet, with increasing exceptions extended to Muslims, Canada's secularist self-image is not neutral with respect to religion.

In fact, the clap-happy multiculturalism held up by the elites of Canada and given lip service by ordinary Canadians is looking more and more like a virulent heresy.

Douglas Farrow explains why.

Losing the culture war, one "victory" at a time

2007-08-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

At stake in the culture war is not so much political victories and freedom from PC thought police as it is the salvation of souls and, in John Paul the Great's memorable phrase, the promotion of the civilization of love. Referring to debate opponents and cultural enemies, Bishop Sheen sagely said that it's possible to win the argument and lose the soul. In other words, charity must be front and center, lest we become like the enemies we're trying to influence.

Canadian journalist Timothy Bloedow argues we should ditch St. Augustine's advice to love the sinner but hate the sin. But he doesn't offer much of an alternative except fighting "to win" the way gay activists do.

I'm sure his new book, State vs Church: What Christians Can Do to Save Canada from Liberal Tyranny, well worth buying, but I think he's dead wrong here.

Who cares if angry homosexuals disbelieve us when we insist on the (very sensible) Augustinian distinction? The same distinction applies to all sinners and all sins. Are we more honest if we say we hate them? Do we really want to adopt their brownshirt tactics? Is there a worse anthropomorphism than to posit God looking down on sinners and hating them with his Divine Hatred? Sing with me -- "Yes, they'll knowww we are Christians by our haaate!"

I was under the impression that Jesus came into the world to save us from our sins, to take them away, not us.

God forgive me for what I'm about to do

2007-08-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm going to post the YouTube clip of Miss South Carolina (whose blonde tresses, I tell you, are IRRELEVANT to the story) answering a question about why so few people can find America on a map. Normally, I wouldn't post human mistakes like this because who among us is immune from embarrassing "blank" moments when under pressure? No one's perfect, right?

But this clip is something amazing to behold. The poor girl digs herself deeper and deeper into a pit of -- what? -- you have to watch to see. An SNL comedy writer couldn't top it.

NB: NBC owns the pageant; so, naturally, our flaxen-haired rocket surgeon was invited by embarrassed execs to appear on The Today Show this morning for damage control.

The dark night of Mother Teresa

2007-08-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

This week's Time Magazine has a riveting essay on a new book about Blessed Mother Teresa's 50-year-long inner struggle against constant doubt, fear, and the harrowing trial of being deprived of (almost) any spiritual consolations from Jesus. Despite a few typical MSM "religion reporter" missteps, it makes for a very compelling read.

The true story of her personal, and excessively long-lasting, dark night of the soul will raise a lot of eyebrows. It's fascinating, sobering, and fully in line with the teaching of St. John of the Cross, St. Catherine of Sienna and St. Therese of Lisieux (from whom she took her religious name).

Quite the opposite of the clap-happy Christianity of the nearest bumper sticker.

Discuss.

This just in -- men are dumber than women!

2007-08-22T12:58:00.001-07:00

I know, I know, you already knew that. But here is more proof for skeptics.

Show of hands -- does anyone think a woman would do this?

Pray for the Peruvians

2007-08-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

My Peruvian-born wife was talking to her dad last night on the phone when he told her that his house had started to shake from yet another aftershock -- and he lives in Lima, 100 miles from the ongoing epicentre of the earthquake in Pisco in the Ika region to the south.

Entire towns have been wiped out, with lifeless bodies stacked on the streets in Ica because destroyed hospitals could not take in victims. Looting and disease have already started to follow.

Most of the dead were worshippers who had packed 17th century adobe-built churches to celebrate the Assumption of Mary.

I'm sure the Church's enemies, and unbelievers generally, will point at this as proof that God is either non-existent or a sadistic fool.

One thing an event like is, is inscrutable.

False cliches

2007-08-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

Cliches are usually truths that occur just frequently enough that we tire of hearing them, right? Same with stereotypes, which, as unPC as it is to say, are also rooted in reality.

Here are some popular cliches that vex my spirit. Some appear on bumperstickers, others just sort of float around the cultural ether:

"And eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
Mahatma Gandhi.

Sorry, Bapu, but this ain't so. The lex talionis, while having been re-framed and superseded by Jesus, is scriptural and did the wooly world of ancient Israel a lot of good in the order-keeping and self-defense departments. By this reasoning, no one should have taken up arms against Hitler or any other unjust aggressor. To his credit, Gandhi was at least consistent in calling for Jews to use passive non-violent resistance with the Nazis. (I personally think the Nazis would have found that hilarious.)

"God has not called me to be successful; he has called me to be faithful."
- Bl. Mother Teresa

I know, I know this is taboo territory. First, I completely agree with the original context of this saying of Mother Teresa's. She meant that we should leave the final results of our efforts to God and not be too concerned with ego-driven "success" -- the whole "be a pencil in God's hand" thing, which is true and profound. But...this slogan has been taken to mean excusing poor performance and being satisfied with mediocrity ("Oh well, God calls me to be faithful, not successful!" Sorry, but in a legitimate sense God does call us to be successful, at least insofar as we're called to strive for excellence, precision, good project planning, etc. I don't think success, per se, is some worldly thing to be feared, as long as we know Who is in charge. How can a blase attitude toward low standards be pleasing to our Lord, or do us any good?

"I'm spiritual, not religious."
- Every lapsed Christian in history

I'm sure you've heard this one a zillion times. Not only is it a completely false dichotomy, it gives the flattering impression that the speaker is somehow superior. Ironic, that. Religion, so says this cliche, is rigid, spirituality (never defined) is flexible; religion is narrow, spirituality is broad-minded; religion judges, spirituality accepts; religion is machismo, spirituality is the true feminine; religion is backward represents limit, spirituality is progressive and represents openness. I can't take it! I always imagine that the deity worshiped by the Spiritual People is a non-threatening, all-nice Nerf Force in the sky who looks like this man:

Which cliches do you love to loathe, and why?

The MSM: a wholly owned subsidiary of the Democratic Party

2007-08-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

Does anyone doubt it?

Can any honest person imagine a mainstream media piece this puffy about, say, Mitt Romney's wife?

Another post, for Justine

2007-08-06T14:25:00.001-07:00

When Barry Manilow opines that the Copa Cabana is "the hottest spot north of Havana," he fails to specify whether he's a) referring to the nightclub's indoor ambient temperature or its hipness, nor whether b) he means only due north of Havana or all clubs above Havana's latitude worldwide.

And don't get me started on the ambiguous view expressed by Whitney Houston that the children are somehow our future, or her cryptic claim to have decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow.

New poll: 99.98 percent of respondents say not having sex with vegans works out very well, thanks

2007-07-31T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to discern what made these crusading vegans feel that making themselves sexually unavailable to carnivores would score any rhetorical points?

Seriously.

No bloody way

2007-07-26T13:26:00.001-07:00

The editorial board regrets to announce that Seize the Dei will post no commentary on Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, or Posh and Becks.

Sorry for any pain this causes.

Tammi Faye exploited one last time

2007-07-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Like most people, I suppose, I lumped Tammi Faye Bakker (may she rest in peace) in with other sundry excesses of the greedy 1980s: the telfon-gauge make-up, the on-cue tears, the pentecostal weirdness seemed like so much entertainment. I'd heard she had cancer and had been on TV here and there in a kind of forgotten-but-not-gone way. I wasn't prepared for what I saw while flipping past Larry King Live last week.

Taped a very few days before she died, this really made me ill.

And I'm not taking about her skeletal appearance alone. The cliche about us becoming more and more desensitized to media exploitation is a true one. I was suddenly stricken with a two-fold emotion: a deep sadness for her, that her need to be on television (which would have entailed leaving the comforts of home for a limo trip, a formal dress-up, small talk in the green room, then sitting under hot studio lights, etc.)....but also anger at Larry King and his bosses for the sheer exploitation of this pathetic figure. Hey, Lare, did you have to ask her 500 times if she was scared?

What was the purpose of this interview?

Disney: Nice movies, dumb logic

2007-07-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

Hey, wait a minute. Whenever a kid gets injured mimicking something he saw in a movie, don't liberals (who typically fear censorship more than they do nuclear war) immediately jump up and make the sharpest possible distinction between "art" and "real life"?

Then why is Disney removing all smoking from its movies?

England's hottest magician debuts tomorrow in US

2007-07-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

If you're a fan of disturbingly good magic, don't miss Derren Brown's American debut on the Sci-Fi Channel tomorrow night, July 26. Check local listings.

Darren's elegant brand of mentalism and mind reading is unlike anything you've seen. He makes David Blaine look like, uh, a...weird guy who hurts himself a lot.

A question for all you Democrat-supporting Catholics

2007-07-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

By what pretzel-like contortions do you justify supporting pro-abortion zealots like Edwards and Obama? Do you really buy the logic that flattens "issues" like health care, education, racism, the death penalty, etc. into one vague porridge of equally important moral questions of which the killing of babies is no more significant than any of the others?

I'm asking.

Dear God, please make your servant Roger stop talking.

2007-07-16T14:44:00.001-07:00

It's funny what kicks you over the edge into returning to the blog.

Say with with me: "$660 million!"

Considering his own role in the perpetration of crimes by homosexual predators in the Los Angeles Archdiocese (do the names of priestly predators Father Michael Wempe and Michael Baker ring a bell?) the above "oops" speech from the Teflon Cardinal is vexing in the extreme. One need not ask why he didn't step down; that's obvious. The real question is, Why didn't the Holy See put some teeth into a "suggestion" that he do so?

Few people argue that Cardinal Law did worse than his more leftist brother Cardinal of the West. Yet the mainstream media treatment has been noticeably irenic, if occasionally scolding, toward Cardinal Mahoney.

I suspect our betters in the MSM admires the Cardinal's penchant for making "fall-over-yourself-with-compassion-understood-as-okaying-federal-crimes" statements like the one Mahoney made last week on illegal aliens -- in which, as always he avoids using the words illegal and aliens.

To quote another movie involving sheep, they wish they knew how to quit him.

Things I don't get

2007-04-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

I wish my book writing wasn't sucking up so much of my bandwidth. I'll try and do better! Really! Don't take away my popsicle! I'll try harder!

Does anyone feel like a total moron about some news stories as I do? It's almost like I hear only 46.3% of the facts of the story even though I'm bombarded by the coverage day in and day out. Take the Valerie Plame thingie. Here's a summary of what I know: This lady Valerie Plame is married to an ambassador guy named Joseph Wilson. He was sent by Dick Cheney to Niger (very deliberately pronounced Najherr so no racial epithets are implied) to investigate something about Saddam's interest in yellow cake, apparently his favorite dessert. Said cake was proven to have nothing to do with Iraq building a nuke (well, duh), and then journalist Robert Novak said something to someone about Valerie Plame working at the CIA. But Novak zipped his lip and wouldn't reveal his leak source, yet he didn't go to jail unlike Judith Miller of the New York Times, who did some time for, uh, failing to reveal her source (unless it was for unethically revealing him -- one of those.)

Anyway, Joseph Wilson wrote an essay in the Wall Street Journal that called the Bush Administration a bunch of bad things. The leak about his wife was seen by many as payback for Wilson's politically motivated temerity re: venting to the WSJ. Turns out she was just a secretary at the CIA, not exactly Jane Bond 007 or anything, so I'm confused about why the fit hit this particular shan. But a dough-faced prosecutor named Patrick Fitzgerald got into the action by calling a bunch of witness for a grand jury inquiry into all this, and it looked like Karl Rove really was the prince of darkness for his role in, you know, helping make Scooter Libby the lying crook that he, you know, is. I think. Dick Cheney ended up shooting Libby in the leg so he could show up to the trial on crutches to gain the jury's sympathy. Didn't work, and now Scooter is stamping license plates with Judith in the big house.

All I know is, that couple sure likes to pose for magazine covers looking all noble and scorned and victimized. And Valerie, what's with those Jackie Onassis glasses?

How about the latest Alberto Gonzalez kerfuffle? I am lost on that one, too. Seems Mr. Gonzalez fired eight federal attorneys without cause. Or he fired them without telling President Bush. Or he followed orders from Bush to fire them, but he fired the wrong guys. Or he should have fired them earlier. Or something. At the very least, I mean, he should have been a LOT nicer about it.

Generally, any media story with the suffix "gate" attached to it loses me from the get go.

Priestly humility: Exhibit A

2007-04-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

This lovely letter needs no explanation.

See how humility defuses tempers and pours balm onto bitterness? We don't know all the facts or background behind the case, but, as it is, this peek inside a priest's heart makes for good spiritual reading.

They like me, they really like me

2007-04-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have been slow to post because I got word that Emmaus Road Publishing is going to be publishing my first book, tentatively titled Sex Au Naturel: Catholic Teaching on Contraception and Why It Matters.

It will be on the shelves in 2008. I'm very excited, of course, but now realize I have to write full-bore now that I have, er, uh -- koff koff -- a deadline. I may burden my Seize the Dei readers from time to time with requests for information if I can't locate a certain source or article.

See you soon.

Irksome journalistic double standard

2007-03-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

Would a newspaper hire a sports reporter to cover baseball who didn't know what an RBI is? How about a political reporter applicant who didn't know the difference between the House and the Senate? Or how about a travel section writer who had never been outside the US? All unqualified, right?

Then riddle me this: Why do religion reporters so frequently show their ignorance of their intended subject matter? As a dimension of news or current affairs, editors seem to accord the religion a very low priority and therefore low status when it comes to assigning this or that writer to cover events.

Here is a prime example. I wish I could afford cash prizes, but how many errors of fact can you spot in this article about a talk by Benedict XVI gave recently in which he mentioned hell?

Let me start: "Limbo" was never taught as some cloudy middle ground between heaven and hell!

They're coming...

2007-02-19T10:25:00.001-08:00

Wait for them. They're going to be here soon. It's only a matter of time.

I'm talking about the photos of Anna Nicole Smith's dead body.

The poor soul will be as savagely exploited in death as she was in life. The media machine, and the cynical voyeurs whose willingness to gawk at a human train wreck going off its rickety rails in slow motion, are not finished with her yet.

When good kids are forced defend bad adults

2007-01-24T14:40:00.000-08:00

Dakota Fanning wants to know what all the fuss is about. The talented child actress, age 12, and has been trundled before the microphones to defend the infamous rape scene in her new movie Hounddog, which is making a disturbing splash at the Sundance Film Festival (along with a tender tale of man-horse love, and I wish I was kidding).

That she's being used as a foil by the film's producers to mollify critics ranks up there with the spectre of making a 12-year-old child act out a scene of forced sexual intercourse in the first place. Does anyone actually believe this kind of hardcore content -- even if filmed by circumlocution -- will not have an effect on a child? That she's "just an actress pretending" is no argument at all. A porn star can say the same thing.

Now I happen to like Dakota Fanning's work -- she can cry credible tears by the bucket on cue, and is one of the few child performers who can carry a movie. I don't buy the spin here. The same problem exists when kid actors are made to swear like Marines in "teenage sex comedies" to get a laugh. It's all of a piece with our culture's slow and steady effort to destroy innocence, perfectly within the tradition of Jodie Foster/Brooke Shields/Alyssa Milano/Britney Spears: start 'em off sweet, then switch 'em to slut 'cuz "you can't stay a child forever" to quote one of Hounddog's apologists.

What Miss Fanning's handlers want above all is an Oscar, the endowment of which would enthrone her securely in the Really Big Buck$ pantheon.

There is more to the story than an allegedly harmless, sanitized rape scene. Paul Petersen asks whether Fanning was even protected by North Carolina law that covers child exploitation. Petersen was a child star in the 1950s (he played one of Donna Reed's sons in the popular Donna Reed Show) and is founder/president of the non-profit advocacy organization A Minor Consideration, a resource child actors and their parents. (Disclosure: Mr. Petersen has helped our family with advice regarding our spectacularly photogenic eldest daughter.)

Petersen writes:

"Dakota Fanning acted out a rape scene, on camera, and in the script, was called upon to perform mutual masturbation with another actor, a scene which may or may not be in the final cut of the movie. Reports persist that the footage of the masturbation scene was conveniently destroyed. What we know for certain is that a professional movie crew was so outraged during filming of the rape scene that they walked off the set...."

Lovely poem about Naomi

2007-01-22T23:33:00.000-08:00

A budding Canadian poet named Erin McNulty, age 14, penned a sweet poem/reflection upon learning about our loss of Naomi. When I was 14, I could barely pick my nose! It might help to know that I'm known in my hometown of Halifax as P.D. (for Pat David --- long story).

Erin's poem is a beautiful example of the little-but-large impact Naomi has had, and continues to have, on us who remain here below.

Naomi Rose

"I'd never thought
I'd be walking through this valley,
having to choose
the hour of
my daughter's death."

As I heard P.D.'s words,
being read aloud by my mom,
I felt tears prick my large brown eyes.

How could he have done that?
Put emotions into words,
and almost make me start to cry?

Why is Naomi dead?
She deserves a chance at life,
why has God taken her away?

But now she's an angel,
watching over all of us,
keeping us out of harm's way.

I find myself thinking,
all about that little girl,
even though she lives a million miles away.

But I was touched by her,
by that beautiful baby,
and the love that I feel will stay.

Thank you, Erin!

Ponder without fear, like the Bible says

2007-01-16T16:47:00.000-08:00

All things being equal, and not taking into account drastic climatic shifts or increases in forest predators, how much wood -- in kilograms, now -- could a woodchuck chuck if said beast could chuck wood?

Also, if there's any way to gracefully segue from the following awkward social faux pas, I want to hear it. You meet someone for the first time, and after the preliminary introductions, they say, "How's it going?" and you reply incorrectly with, "Nice to meet you, too," or some similar non sequitur. You feel like a moron, but making light of it only adds another layer of awkwardness, not to mention crushing obviousness.

Or how about this? As you know, if you're Catholic, dear Seize the Dei reader, holding hands during the Our Father has, unfortunately, become de rigeur in many parishes nowadays. It's all so "meaningful" and "community-building" and "stranger welcoming" and "pastorally fitting." And about as spontaneous as preparing your tax returns. My question: what is the best way to perform that little squeezie-poo of the joined hands that we all do at the end of the "for thine is the Kingdom" part? If you squeeze too hard, you send a "let go of my hand already" message to your brother or sister. If you continue the exact same hand pressure, you might seem clingy or something more creepy. At present I simply opt out of the whole ritual by bowing my head, hermetically sealing my eyes shut, and clasping my hands together in that famous Serenity Prayer pose. (Confession: I'm not above pretending not to understand English, or making like I'm deaf, just to get out of it. If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.)

And while I'm at it, what's with that automatic Rite Of the Raising Of the Arms thing at the very end of the prayer, anyway?

I'll bet Catholics and lemmings share a lot of DNA.

He's baaaack

2007-01-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

A special hello to readers of Lay Witness magazine who may be dropping by because of my essay on losing Naomi (LW printed my blog URL). If you're a Catholic but not a subscriber, I recommend Lay Witness the monthly the flagship publication of Catholics United for the Faith. LW is timely, practically oriented, orthodox and always readable. My piece is titled "Grace at the Heart of Grief." (They ran a sweet picture of Naomi.) If it makes it to the online edition of LW, I'll let you know.

Christmas in Nova Scotia with my side of the family was fun, although not white, much to the chagrin of our four-year-old Mariclare.

The year 2006 has definitely been my poor mother's annus horribilis. She lost a close friend in mid-2006. Then her granddaughter Naomi Rose died in Sept. Then her eldest sister Rose died Dec 16. Rose (and her husband, my Uncle Don) would have been married 65 years -- no , that's not a typo -- on Christmas Day. Then a good friend and golf partner had a severe stroke on Dec 23, and was disconnected on Dec 26.

As real and heartfelt as this Christmas was for her, merry it was not.

Blogger help....

2006-12-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

Can anyone tell me why Blogger is not allowing JPGs to publish? I did all the right steps in the photos below. I recently upgraded (hahahaha, oh bitter irony) to the new beta Blogger. Serves me right. Can anyone tell me what I'm doing wrong? The Blogger help is no help at all.

Friends in high places

2006-12-08T10:24:00.000-08:00

You don't know this man yet, but you will. His name is Joseph Griffin, my good friend and fellow Canuck-in-LA. Joseph has kept his acting nose doggedly against the Hollywood grindstone for, oh, seven years now. It's starting to pay off -- for him and for his beautiful family of nine kids (not a typo.)

Yesterday he shot an episode of TV's 24, in a scene opposite this man:

I'll let you know when it airs.

Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception, ora pro Joseph.

Seize the Dei

There.

There's something about Mary

Erratum

It's a go

"Emma, if you can hear me, just give me a kiss."

They like me, they really like me

All me, all the time!

The value of virginity.....

The first Catholic blogger dies

One extra second in 2008....

Me, on the radio

Host with the (koff koff) mostest

These little quirks of mine

From my "stuff I hope is not true" bag

Ladies and gentlemen....Mikaeel Jackson!

I thought the Mass *was* cosmic...

Magic Castle brushes with fame

MPASS membership grows

Terri Schiavo, but with a better ending

See, with balloons you get a low Mass and a high Mass

Memo to CNN: your guy won, m'kay?

Saintly priest, cowardly diocesan administrator?

The O-Team

This man needs his own TV show

Sean Penn: Best Actor Oscar, 2009

Gentle gays quietly explain their position

Annoying phrases redux

Evil woman justly silenced by peaceful, tolerant gay protesters

Liberal bishop dislikes English words

A thousandth of a picture is worth a word

President Careless Elect

Hitler youth rehearsal or McDonalds ad?

Naomi Rose Coffin: two years today

Hillary the courageous

Hire Patrick Coffin

A star is born

Man beheads sleeping man; media also asleep

"And he didn't even sweat! What a man!"

Heavy Metal monk

Canadians: Wannabe Democrats

Celeb divorce watch

Predictableness

Ding, dong, the book is done

Why men don't write advice columns

Heath Ledger had it all....right?

How Canadians differ from Americans, No. 9,298,769

Clarification on Mormonism

"Make them swallow Mormonism"

Similarities between Islam and Mormonism

Mormonism is weird

Queer eye for the straight pope

Posting less: book in the works

What if pro-lifers tried this?

Finally, a warm Christmas story

Media on the pope: old dog, new tricks, no can do.

Lest we forget

Please, God, not another one

Global warming: gold medalist in the Scam Olympics

When crazy priests stalk celebrities

Fred Thompson: "pro-life" phony

Pathetic FEMA strikes again

But will the Vatican call his bluff?

My Daily News opponent

Flame evasion proceeds apace

Welcome, LA Daily News readers

Sexual abuse of minors is caused by celibacy, I tell you!

Apathy competition

Jewish Power, Inc.

How many illegal aliens does it take to change a lightbulb?

Brave New Weird

The end is nigh

Next up: George Clooney urges Brad Pitt to become brain surgeon.

Canada: handbag final destination uncertain, but passengers say, "It's getting kinda hot in here."

Oh, Canada, my multitude of solitudes

Losing the culture war, one "victory" at a time

God forgive me for what I'm about to do

The dark night of Mother Teresa

This just in -- men are dumber than women!

Pray for the Peruvians

I thought the Mass was cosmic...