Catholic commentary on culture, media, and politics.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Politically impossible TV show title

Think about this. Can you imagine a show titled Straight Eye for the Queer Guy that featured run-of-the-mill heterosexuals (not the macho cariacature) instructing gay men on the finer points of car repair, how to walk without a swish, how to converse credibly about rugby, or how not screw up a job interview because of a strong lisp?

Me neither.


Blogger Non Sum Dignus said...

seeing you brought up on of my favorite shows (to illustrate the further decline of Western Civilization)... with tounge firmly placed in cheek, I submit for your approval the following ;

Conservative Eye For The Liberal Guy". Five conservatives staple Alec Baldwin's eyelids open while they show non-stop John Wayne movies to him and read out loud excerpts from William F. Buckley and Pat Buchanan.

Military Eye For The Pacifist Guy". One member from each of the Armed Forces (yes, the Coast Guard counts) continually bitch slap a pacifist, until sugar-britches learns to fight back

Carnivorous Eye For The Vegetarian Guy". Five Cattle Ranchers threaten to give an A-1 Steak Sauce enema to a pasty faced, spindly vegetarian unless he scarfs down a Porterhouse

Confederate Eye For The Yankee Guy". Five Good Ol' Boys introduce the glories of everything Southern to a foreigner from north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Yankee Boy learns that a "HAT attack" has nothing to do with cardio-vascular disease... and there never was a "Civil War"... it is correctly known as "The War When The North Invaded America".

NRA Eye For The Gun Control Guy". Kinda like "Military Eye For The Pacifist Guy" but in this case, the five NRA guys stand by and do absolutely nothing while the Gun Control freak has family members attacked, brutalized and in some cases, murdered. Finally when Gun Control freak decides to grow a set of spheres, our NRA heros teach him that the phrase "Gun Control" really means two rounds to the chest... one to the head. He also is awarded a complimentary Glock with gold inlaid portraits of a smiling and waving Charleton Heston on the pistol grip

Bar Brawlers Eye For The Broadway Dancer Guy". Five beer soaked and rather surly individuals point out to a Broadway Dancer that by imitating the so-called fight scenes from "West Side Story", one will never become the veritable billy bad ass he has always dreamt of being

Rugby Eye For The Football Eye". Five Irish Rugby players illustrate to an NFL player that only two kinds of people wear pads... women and American football players

3:02 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Exactly, nsd. You're on a roll!

12:21 PM

Anonymous midwestmom said...


Haven't you ever seen Blue Collar TV on Comedy Central? Monday nights, 10 p.m. EST.

They do a skit just like you've described. Imagine Larry the Cable Guy giving fashion advice to a gay man. It's funny!

9:46 PM

Blogger Patrick said...

EST. Hmmm. Wasn't that a weird cult started by Werner Erhart?

8:23 AM


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