Valiant French response miraculously quells violence.

PARIS -- From all across Europe and North Africa today, telegrams of admiration and praise poured into the French capital in acknowledgement of what leaders of nations are calling a miracle: the sudden calming effect that French sit-in demonstrators had on the riots and violence by disaffected immigrant youths, which have rocked scores of Parisian suburbs over the last two weeks.

"The sight of that group of brave patriots sitting there in open defiance of what we were doing," said disaffected immigrant youth Sajeev al Aqbar ibn Muhammad, "impelled us to cease our rageful activites."

Within minutes of witnessing the sitting protesters, hundreds of disaffected immigrant youths began dousing car fires started only moments before, dropping their brickbats, embracing policemen, and publically renouncing violence as a way of effecting social change.

"What got me right here," added disaffected immigrant youth Ibrahim al Siddiqui, gesturing to his robed chest, "was when they started swaying to John Lennon's Imagine."

"If we can mobilize a few dozen more sit-in style demonstrations in the Sunni Triangle, Amman, Damascus and Tehran," said organizer Jean-Luc de la Paix, "we feel the Middle East will give peace a chance."