Catholic commentary on culture, media, and politics.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Voter fraud: always wrong, in all cases?

I've faced it. I can't win up against the comedically formidable Curt Jester. And I can't change which category I've been nominated in (I may have had a shot if I was in Best New Blog or Best Blog By a Canadian Living in North L.A. County)

What I can do is urge you to consider voter fraud, o my droogies. Just tell three of your friends (instructing them to tell three more) and just start pounding out the votes. Become a Seize the Dei voter monkey.

Many Catholic moral thinkers, none of whom have ever been rebuked by a bishop (Richard Gula, Philip Keane, et al), say that your conscience is the supreme norm for morality, that you must consider consequences -- in addition to, you know, vague churchy rules and stuff -- when deciding to act. If the ends are good, baby, how can the means be wrong?

The sad irony is, I never started Seize the Dei to be "funny" per se. So I'm just not equipped to outlaff those blogs devoted to being humorous (at which most succeed very well)

But with your help -- your pledge to boldly cheat to help a total stranger who can't ever compensate or thank you properly -- I will win this thing.


Blogger Constantine said...

You have my vote(s)

8:29 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Costantine, for your votes(s), for your skill at fighting powers of evil, and for allowing Keanu Reeves to play you, I salute you.

'preciate the support.

8:53 AM

Anonymous joe said...


I admit I nominated you in the most humorous catagory(I blame myself).

9:00 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Joe: How DARE you include me in a contest I'd have had no chance at being entered in any other way! Outrageous!

The funny (?) thing is, now I feel pressure to bring on the humorous posts, even though I see myself more as providing witty (or at least ambitions to wittiness) commentary that occasionally makes you laugh. If anyone wanders to teh blog, there's a bit of an expectation to find it funny enough to vote for. Curt Jester is unbeatable on that score. It's his main charism, if you will, and he does a great job.

OTOH, sometimes it takes your *audience* to tell you who you are and what you do best. So no, I think it's a blast to be honored with ANY nomination as there are so. many. great. blogs. out. there.

So keep up that Christian voter fraud! AMDG!

St. Padraig's Day? Any plan...?

9:40 AM

Blogger Domenico said...

I will vote for you if you pledge to stop splitting infinitives. :)

10:26 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Bomi: Hey, I resemble that comment.

fyi, I voted for you even though you dangle modifiers and mix metaphors daily...and have publically acknowledged feeling like a woman named Lucci.

10:43 AM

Blogger Patrick said...


Actually the literary jury seems to lean toward acceptance of at least occasional (and prudent) infinitive splitting. The scruple seems to be rooted in wanting English grammar to follow the more pithy Latin re: infinitives. I argue that English is not Latin.

The classic rationale is the Star Trek Defense: "To go boldly where no man has gone before" sounds hollow since the "boldly" adds a nice rhythm and emphasis to the "going." Plus the meaning is plain, as it is with: "To always keep a watch on your suitcase."

While I'm generally a Strunk & White protege and fan of omitting needless words, I can't make a blood oath to never insert the odd adverb betwixt infinitives.

And now my blog is REALLY going to earn that Most Humourous prize! Studies show that debates about the minutiae of syntax are hilarious to most readers. lol.

11:13 AM

Blogger Domenico said...

As a magazine editor, it is my sacred duty to nitpick syntax and grammar (while simultaneously pointing out that my wife is constantly fixing the syntax and grammaer of my blog.)

Or should I have said "to syntactically and grammatically nitpick"? Sounds... more intellectual. You may have a point there.

12:04 PM

Blogger Patrick said...

Dear Susan:

My motto is, never settle for mere clarity when sounding innerleckshull is at stake. Boldy at stake.

12:11 PM

Anonymous joe said...

i firmly believe the solution is to abolish all forms of punctuation since its another form of patriarchal bigotry with obvious roots in paleo western european imperialism

this would be especially helpful to me since i cant tell the difference between a quadratic equation and a sentence diagram

btw your saints day falls on a friday this year i think we should met with the lads at maggie malones across from the farmers market

jd mccool

1:53 PM

Blogger Patrick said...

I like it. I like it.

2:57 PM

Anonymous joe said...

Hey. By the way. American Papist blog has your little catholic acronym list posted.

That's why you’re humorous.

7:46 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

I see. Well, I supposed I should be flattered. To bad he (a male in the fashion industry) gets how tacky it might appear to lift a funny thing from one blog as a way of expressing why his readers should vote for his blog.

But since I've practically begged for voter fraud to lift Seize the Dei up from .000001 percent of the vote, I can't complain.

8:31 AM

Anonymous joe said...

Well, it is the sincerest form of flattery.

Your not alone in the vote pimping. The catholic blogs are becoming a virtual meat market. I feel dirty.

8:44 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

You love it, you little man whore.

8:49 AM

Anonymous joe said...

That's true. I'm the one reading this stuff.

9:20 AM


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