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Monday, September 29, 2008

Naomi Rose Coffin: two years today

Today is the second anniversary of Naomi's birth into eternal life. She joined us on the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross, September 14, 2006, and left us on September 29, 2006, the Feast of the Archangels.

This morning, after dropping Mariclare off at her new school, St. Monica Academy in Pasadena, I stopped off at the San Fernando Mission Cemetery and paid a visit to Naomi's grave. I said a few prayers, sang a couple of songs to her, and sat down on the dew-kissed grass.

Then I had a very good cry. Some cries don't quite get off the ground, you know what I mean? You end up with a half-satisfied spirit and some mucus issues. Others are full bore releases, and you can literally feel your heart aching, stinging, pining. And the tears and sobs are wrenched from you. That was me today. Another layer of the grief onion peeling away. The thing is, I don't mind the grief. In a strange way, the grief feelings keep me connected with her. Part of me wants them to remain fresh, although it's painful, because the sorrow is shot through with joy.

There's gotta be a country song about this emotional state.

I know she's with the Lord, I do have immense peace about how exquisitely prepared she was to meet her Bridgegroom, and I rely on her prayers most every day. But I still miss her badly.

St. Naomi, ora pro nobis.


Blogger Justine said...

Thanks for sharing this. May God bless you and your whole family.

4:37 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Thanks, J. True facts: 1) I finally linked to your fine blog, and 2) I had a hand in writing Karen Hall's first draft of "Vows." That was two years ago when the SJ was going to be in a parish in Hollywood, and it was a freebie (Karen is a buddy of mine). But still. I'm a very important mover-shaker in the entertainment biz. I am.

11:19 AM

Blogger Justine said...

1. I noticed readership was up and my hair had extra bounce and shine. Must have been your link. Thanks!

2. Your coattails are the reason I keep pretending to be your friend.

10:32 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Bounce and shine? You're soaking in it, Madge. (Remember that Palmolive commercial...)

Now you can say that you know someone who knows someone who knows Karen Hall.

I'm here for you.

10:42 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

your article was awesome. God bless you and your family.

11:56 AM

Blogger Patrick said...

Beautiful video. Thanks for including. I imagine Eliot being shown around The Place and introduced to juggling by Naomi Rose.

8:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Patrick,
I'm handing out copies of "Grace at the heart of grief" to nurses at my parents nursing home. I had recently buried a baby and they were filled with amazement at why God allows this and truly perplexed by my faith. I had talked to them at length on letting go and letting God. I know your article will help.
Thanks for sharing.
Fr.John O'B
Gods blessings fill you and all your family

7:00 PM

Blogger Patrick said...

Fadder Johnnie! Hey, great to "see" you. Praise the Lord that He might speak to others through our loss of Naomi. There is no other explanation for our peace -- in the face of great emotional pain at the time -- other than the precious GIFT of faith.

The death of a baby rudely rips off the polite mask of denial we all wear about our own death. And yet, even at age 100 we're all babies to almighty God.

Thanks for your prayers.

I was listening to the Rankins on the weekend and I had a hundred memories of Ottawa come back, and how I still call fish n' chips fee 'n chee.

8:04 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your pain is felt and shared by so many others. I have 'buried' 3 babies, and tho the years have passed and no one 'remembers' my little ones any more (or tho it seems since it is never brought up in conversation), a day does not go by where I do not feel them, remember them, cherish them, love them and mourn for them. Thanks for sharing and may you be strengthened. From an old Steubie acquaintance who once gave you a 'lift' from OH to MI: Diana K. (Anderson) LoChiatto

7:31 PM

Blogger Patrick said...

Hey Diana!

Of course I remember you. As I recall, I forced you and the other girl in the car to say the words, "I love it when you call me Big Poppa," per some rap song. How embarrassing is that to admit -- and how bad it looks to my readers! lol.

Sorry to hear about your losses. I feel exactly the same way about our baby. NO ONE EVER brings her up with the exception of our lovely neighbor Roz. I guess people don't know what to say or figure it would hurt me to have her name mentioned. On the contrary! I feel like she's the one I love, and I'm not deep in horrible grieving any more. I carry Naomi very close to me at all times, and very often will muse on how beautiful she looked, how much I wish she was bouncing on my knee right now, and what she would have looked like today. But you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Great to hear from you.

1:01 PM


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