Another baseball "great" for kids to emulate

But mommy, the cookie jar fell over! Really, I must have breathed in some chocolate chip vapor, and some of it got stuck on my lips. I didn't intentionally eat any cookies.

I swear.

Many were rivetted by Orioles hitter Rafael Palmeiri's breathless testimony before a congressional committee in March:

"I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. Period. Why would I do this in a year when I went in front of Congress and I testified and I told the truth?" Palmeiro said Monday. "Why should I do this during a season where I was going to get to 3,000 hits? It just makes no sense. I would not put my career on the line. I would not put my reputation on the line, everything that I've accomplished throughout my career. I would not do that. I'm not a crazy person."

No, Rafael, not crazy. Just a sinner. Just someone seduced by adulatory press clippings and the desire to attain immortality in the sports pantheon -- in other words, precisely because he wanted to ensure 3000 hits this season, suspecting there may not be a next season. Take a number and join the line.

But enough already with the dumb ass excuses.