Catholic commentary on culture, media, and politics.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Profundities for a Friday afternoon

I lay before you five questions that continue to vex and challenge us all:

1) Why precisely do fools fall in love?

2) Did Joanie really love Chachi or were they just actors pretending?

3) Regarding magic in a young girl's heart: is this even possible?

4) In what sense is Saturday night all right for fighting? Is this primarily a reference to fistcuffs or does it apply to all weekend warfare? And does "all right" mean morally permissible or merely pleasurable?

5) Regarding the children: do you believe they are, in fact, our future? And if you teach them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside, and the like, what can realistically be expected?


Anonymous Mohammad Q said...

I read you questions. Very nice. The question I seek answer to is: "What's new, Pussycat?"

Thank you, please.

4:33 PM

Blogger Karen said...

First, I want the answers to your questions.

Then I want to know whether or not the hokie pokie is what it's all about.

11:26 PM

Anonymous Padraig said...

Karen, I thought everyone knew what the hokey pokey was all about; namely "that." (Yes, you have to mentally sing the song to get the answer.)

As for the other answers, well, I need to properly deliberate. I don't want to give glib, kneejerk shots at 'em. What do YOU think they are?

1:54 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Response of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith regarding Certain Questions related to secular music.

1) Love, being more properly the theological virtue of charity, is thus divinely ordered, and the opportunity of charity is given to all men. However, another reading of this line relates to our Lapsarian natures - we are all fools in sin, and thus we fail (fall) in charity. Notwithstanding this, the fool of the apodictic tradition, as Job or Jeremiah, refers to our better nature in contrast with our sensuous selves. To 'fall in love', then, is to die by the Sword of Love - c.f. Terese's letters: "to die by love is a very sweet martyrdom".

2) Joanie and Chiachi are architypes derived from Sts. Joan of Arc and Balthasar of Chiavari, and as such, do love each other in chastity as members of the Church Triumphant. However, discussing the actions of the two actors would be to engage in the sin of calumny, and is not to be discussed, so nothing more will be said.

3) Magic, derived from the Proto-Chaldean word for Priest or Wizard, refers to occultism, should be kept far away from the heart of a baptised Christian. To believe in such a thing is a sin against hope. Properly, the key word of the lyric should be 'malice'.

4) Fighting on Saturday night is a gravely disordered act, and as such is 'merely pleasurable'. Given that, one might question the grave disorder on the part of the song's source, but again we shall not engage in calumnious speculation.

5) Yes. The children in utero are our immediate future (with all things being ordered to God, our ultimate future) and it is our duty to teach them well, to show them all the beauty they posess inside. Also, we know 'a little child shall lead them'. However, knowing the scope of our fallen natures, we must insist they commit to living according to the commandments and to keep off our [deleted] lawns, which we just finished mowing.

Thank you for your inquiry to the Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HCongregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

Most Reverend Billy "the Sledgehammer" Levada +

(The above is satire, intended without malice)

11:54 AM

Anonymous Patrick said...

Dear Most Reverend Billy:

How DARE you make my own piddly attempts at wit look amateurish and substandard? If you keep posting such pithy and mightily amusing comments I shall have to quit my blog out of Salieresque jealousy.

My only comfort is that your sledgehammer, forged in the soft glow of Castro Street theology, is made of nerf.

Seriously, high-laire response. Love that Thomist thang.

12:55 PM


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